Your Therapists Corner

Dear Anonymous,

In a time of such a confusing mix of stress, love, pain, and wonder, we often lose sight of the person that is always the most important in situations like this. We also lose sight of the long term effects, and what we can do to make them good. It’s time to adopt a different view on what’s going on around you, and find out how to relieve some of this stress.

First off, stop. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Count to ten. And then let it out slowly. When people are stressed out, they very rarely think clearly and in this situation, we need a nice clear, open mind.

Now, as I start with this article I must say that I only know so much, and I can only base my advice off of what I know of your situation.

As we maneuver life and its many bump and disastrous roads we come across many points like the one you are currently experiencing. There isn’t just one thing going on, but multiple. When you hit these times of an extreme level of stress, it is important to take a little time for yourself and just relax. Find a day where you can ignore your phone and the texts or calls you get. Go out to a place you love to be; somewhere peaceful. Bring a nice book and/or your thinking cap. Just sit and clear off as much stress as you possibly can because all it does is jam information and fuzz up the mind. Do your best to think about and resolve things in your head.

Once you’ve done that, try following this little morsel of advice. The guy you are with seems to have been pretty good in the past. And I'm pretty sure he can be again. Often times when guys go off and do what he is doing, it is because of some underlying cause, either insecurity, boredom, or a just downright lack of a heart. And sometimes all it takes is a straight forward confrontation and talk. I realize that your relationship is and has been a great source of happiness in your life and I know you wish to save it if at all possible, so try this out. Find a time where you two can be alone and serious. Present him with all of your concerns and express your love for him. Tell him how special you feel he is, and how special the relationship is to you. Ask why it is that he has done what he has been doing. Give him a fair shake as he tries to respond to your concerns, and hopefully through the talk, you can find a resolution to your problems that will benefit the both of you.

Now, we all know that not everything goes as planned in life. We know that life tends to beat you down right when you feel like you have gotten back up, so just in case things don't go so well, try and keep your mind open to other possibilities. If the result of the conversation is a break up, be prepared. Like I've said, I know that stuff like this is never fun but often times you get something so much better later on. If all doesn’t go well, do your best to focus on who is most important in this situation. You. Your feelings are more important. Your grades are more important. And your tests are more important. If he doesn’t realize what he is missing out on, then that is his loss. Just make sure to get back on your feet and focus on your current situations with school. As I always say, Live strong. Be strong. You can do it. We can do it.